Balance for Busy People

I just read a great article in the October issue of Real Simple magazine by Yolanda Wikiel. She writes that two-thirds of Americans say that their job is a main source of anxiety for them. So, she shares 6 science-backed strategies to feel “cool, calm, and happy.” And here they are:

1.       See stress as good, not bad

Anxiety is just a form of energy. “Reframe a stressful situation as a challenge instead of a threat, and use those intense feelings to energize rather than hinder you.”

It goes along with the story you tell yourself. When you are going into a stressful situation, a lot of the time the reason it’s stressful is because there is a certain amount of uncertainty around it. In the absence of fact or in the presence of uncertainty, we will make up stories to fill the void. Typically, those stories will be negative in nature, which causes us even more anxiety. However, if you tell yourself a positive story then you neurochemically switch that energy from anxiety to excitement.

2.       Ignore your email

You know this…resist the temptation to look at and respond to every little email ping you receive throughout the day as it happens. Research shows that people who constantly check email feel significantly more stressed than those who only look at their inbox three times a day. Turning off email alerts and batching email processing into three 30-minute sessions a day will reduce anxiety tremendously.

3.       Eliminate interruptions

Today’s open floor plans and workspaces make it difficult enough to minimize, not to mention eliminate, distractions and interruptions. But trying to screen out the irrelevant in order to concentrate on the relevant takes a lot of mental energy. Wearing headphones or ducking into a conference room for an hour or two of quiet can really help.

4.       Fidget productively

Are you fidgety in stressful situations? Give yourself a mood and confidence boost by swapping habits [like wringing your hands or bouncing your legs] for one that’s actually helpful. Gently squeeze your right hand for 45 seconds, release for 15 seconds, and repeat a few times. “You’ll activate the left frontal lobe of the brain, which helps you prepare for challenges.”

5.       Clean up your desk

I wrote a blog post about this a few months ago – it is scientifically proven that a cluttered space leads to a cluttered mind. A disorganized office or desk is going to limit your ability to focus, so clean it up! While you are at it, add a plant or two for good measure. Research shows that indoor plants reduce blood pressure and increase productivity.

6.       Protect break time

“We are designed to function on survival mode for short spurts, but when this fight-or-flight reaction is a constant way of living, stress becomes chronic.” Wikiel’s article says that the ideal break schedule is 90 minutes of concentration followed by a brief period of recovery. There are many theories on what that ideal work to break ratio needs to be but the lesson here is that whatever the right ratio is for you, you need to honor that by protecting your break times.

Try a few of these and let me know what you think by leaving a comment below. I’m looking forward to hearing what works best for each of you.

Problems vs. Situations

Life lessons are all around us if you are open to receiving them. Last year on our family vacation to St. Lucia, I learned the importance and benefits of unplugging. (You can read all about it here: “What I Learned from Unplugging”.

This year on our trip to Jamaica, I learned something that I immediately knew I needed to share with you. John and I have been to Jamaica before and one of the things that makes that location so special is the people. Jamaicans just have an envious demeanor and outlook on life. That laid-back, “no worries mon” attitude is contagious while there.

At dinner on our first night, we had the pleasure of meeting this wonderful young lady named Arlene. (That’s me with Arlene in the picture.) She works at the restaurant and was a complete joy to be in the company of. I can’t remember if it was our daughter or her friend that asked Arlene why Jamaicans always seem so happy. Arlene shared this analogy.

She said that Jamaicans are generally happy because of the way they deal with challenges. You see, most challenges fall into one of two categories – problems or situations. Now, situations are those challenges that have a solution. For instance, if your wine glass is empty, you just fill it back up again. Easy. Ain’t nothing but a situation.

Now problems, on the other hand, are challenges that really can’t be solved in a satisfactory manner. Using the wine glass example again, she said a problem would be that your wine glass is empty because you dropped it and it broke. Even if you were able to pick up every single piece of glass and glue it all back together, its never going to hold wine without leaking. No matter how much effort you put into it, it will never be the same again. So, really there is no reason to put the effort into it. Easy. Just move on.

Now I know that this doesn’t work for every challenge that appears in our lives but what a brilliant way to look at those smaller challenges that we usually get the most worked up over.

So, the next time you have a challenge or something that is just pulling you down decide if it’s a problem or a situation. If it’s a situation, then stop stewing over why and how, and fix it. No worries mon. And if it’s a problem, stop stewing over why and how, let it go and walk away. No worries mon.

It’s a beautiful way to approach life.

Manifestation Observations

This post is brief but I want to share a personal observation that I recently made about manifesting. Now, I do believe in the Law of Attraction and in the power of manifestation. However, I struggle with fully implementing the concept in my life. I have a life-time of beliefs that cause inner conflicts that keep me from really allowing things to show up.

For example, one of my conflicts is the fact that I am a believer in God. My struggle is that I feel that if I’m manifesting then I’m taking the glory away from what God is providing by claiming it was me instead of Him. So, I’m working to remind myself that what I’m really manifesting is the awareness of the opportunities that He provides so that I can take advantage of them.

I recently had a family situation around manifestation that shed some light on another internal conflict. Here’s the story:

Our daughter asked to go to a concert – a really expensive concert – in another city (which would require a plane ticket and hotel accommodations). I wasn’t willing to spend the money but one of her friends (and family) was attending and they invited our daughter to go along. We decided to let her go but only if she raised enough money to pay for the entire thing herself.

At first, she was super motivated and created a plan for making the money. The plan included getting a part-time job, baby-sitting, and selling things she no longer uses. She put the word out and then just sat back and waited for the opportunities to arise. Which they did. And she worked them as they came. But after putting the word out, she completely let the stress of raising the money go.

Within a couple of weeks, she had raised 80% of the money she needed. And I found myself getting frustrated with her. Frustrated that she wasn’t working hard enough to make it happen. Frustrated because I wanted her to struggle with raising the money because life is a struggle. I didn’t want her to think that life was just going to be this easy. And then I caught myself and I saw it clear as day. All of my limiting beliefs that you have to work hard to achieve anything. That nothing worthwhile comes easy. That life is meant to be a struggle smacked me right in the face.

Why wouldn’t I want my child to understand that life doesn’t have to be hard? That if you are clear on what you want and then you take advantage of the opportunities as they arise, life can be a lot less stressful and a lot more enjoyable.

And I’m really glad that I caught myself because I almost ruined her positive thinking and beliefs with my limiting beliefs. So, here’s the moral of the story. Our limiting stories are typically passed down to us through our family. If you are aware that our stories impact our lives and also are aware that we are capable of rewriting our stories to improve our lives, then be very careful of the stories you tell your children. Why make them spend their adult lives trying to re-write what we programmed when we can break the cycle now by supporting and reinforcing their empowered stories. It’s one of our gifts to them.

Unexpected Ways to Practice Self-Care

Self-care. Hot topic, I know. The importance of taking care of yourself is undeniable. There is a reason why flight attendants tell you to secure your own oxygen mask first before trying to help others.

For every article written about self-care there are a thousand ways you can practice self-care. Everything from meditation to spa dates to not caring what anyone else thinks all count as self-care. Well, here are 3 more to add to that list that you may not have thought of.

Schedule Problem Time Early In the Day

What does that mean? Does it mean that you need to schedule quiet time each morning for problem solving and brainstorming? Yes. Research shows that our brain power is at its highest first thing in the morning and then is depleted throughout the day by even the smallest of decisions. Then it regenerates or refills the stores overnight so that you are ready to hit the ground running the next day. So, it goes without saying that tackling larger issues right off, before your brain power begins to deplete, makes a lot of sense.

But this also means resolving conflict, including family conflicts. Dealing with conflict, especially family conflict early in the day instead of waiting until bedtime does a couple of things. It allows the conflict to be addressed while everyone’s brain power is at its highest. And, it allows all parties to process the resolution through the day instead of right before they are ready to go to bed. This, in turn, allows for more peaceful sleep – which is a much needed form of self-care.

Interrupt a Roll

Often times when we are on a roll, with work or something around the house, we will say, “I’ve done all of this so let me keep going to see what else I can get done.” There is nothing wrong with this. Especially if you had been lacking motivation and then started to pick up steam once you got moving. I use this technique a lot when I’ve been dragging my feet on something. But, what if instead, you just do what you need to do and then go spend the remainder of the time for yourself? What if you used that extra time specifically for self-care? Our number one excuse for not spending time on ourselves is that there is no time to spend on ourselves. So, the next time you’ve completed everything you need to complete and have some time left over, shift your attention to activities that re-charge and re-energize you.

Set Time Boundaries

Boundaries. We all know we need them but are so afraid to define and then enforce them. We don’t want to let people down. We don’t want people to think we aren’t there for them. And we certainly don’t want people to think we are being selfish. Setting boundaries is not selfish. It is necessary. Most of my clients are getting better with setting boundaries with their clients but still seem to struggle with setting boundaries with their friends and family. Remember that you can’t be helpful to them when you are stretched too thin. Or you end up being helpful but it comes from a place of bitterness and contempt instead of love and caring.

I am the team mom for our daughter’s travel volleyball team. We were at a volleyball tournament recently and was trying to manage something like a thousand requests/questions and trying to coordinate an impromptu team meal and trying to figure out when and where our next match was…and then our daughter threw one more on the pile. And I completely exploded. At her. Because I didn’t set time boundaries with everyone associated with our team, I took it out on the one person I was there to support. The most important person I was there to support. Instead of showing her how to properly manage all of it, I showed her a melt-down. Melting-down isn’t exactly the best way to show her how to manage these types of situations in her life as she grows and matures and takes on additional responsibilities in her life and career. I missed the opportunity to set the example.

And that’s what self-care is ultimately about. Setting the example for those around us. Especially our kids. Taking care of yourself allows you to be a better mom, a better wife, a better business person. It teaches our children and those we care about how to be much more flexible and accepting. Yes, self-care is about us. But it is also about them.

Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist (repost from 9.16.15)

I am republishing this blog post from September 16, 2015 simply because the struggle with perfectionism has popped up in my conversations and coaching sessions multiple times this week. I hope that all of you trying to fight your inner perfectionist find this helpful.

 

Hello. My name is Stacy Oldfield and I am a perfectionist – or at least, a recovering perfectionist.

Sounds like an introduction at a support group session, right? I wish I could find such a group. My own perfectionism, while being a huge driving force in my life, has also kept me from being the fearless individual I was meant to be. I first heard the term “recovering perfectionist” from TEDx speaker Mitch Matthews and immediately laughed out loud. I had always thought that being a perfectionist was a good thing. It meant that you always put your best foot forward, you act deliberately – not impulsively, you do not accept anything less than the best, and you have the highest expectations of yourself and everything you do. But can being a perfectionist be detrimental? Research says it can.

The more we know about perfectionism, the more we understand how it drives more than just ambition but also overly critical self-evaluations that not only negatively impact our self-esteem but also our confidence. Unfortunately, studies show that this is largely a female issue and is displayed throughout our entire lives.

Women tend not to answer questions until we are entirely sure of the answer. We also tend to not apply for jobs unless we’re sure we are perfectly ready and perfectly qualified. We obsess over just about every aspect of our lives – as professionals, mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, friends, athletes, etc. Bob Sullivan and Hugh Thompson, the authors of The Plateau Effect, call the tendency the “enemy of the good.” Basically they state that striving to be perfect actually keeps us from getting anything done – which is counterintuitive when thinking that perfectionists tend to be very driven individuals.

In the 2014 article, “Perfectionist Traits: Do These Sound Familiar?” Elizabeth Scott, a stress management expert, points out that perfectionists and high achievers are very similar but with some key differences.

1. GOALS: Perfectionists and high achievers both set high goals. However, high achievers are happy with doing a great job in working toward that goal while perfectionists will see not achieving the goal as a complete failure. Take weight loss as an example. My weight has been a perpetual yo-yo since college. One year I lose 30 pounds and then two years later I’ve gained 20 of them back. The perfectionist in me can only see the final number as the goal, while a high achiever will take each day in stride and celebrate even the smallest win while keeping their eye on the prize. So, instead of celebrating not eating that third cookie, I will be completely disappointed in the fact that I did not complete the day without going off track even once. This disappointment causes frustration and depression that makes me eat even more. You can see how quickly this can create an out of control spiral.
2. PRIDE: Perfectionists are very critical of themselves. While high achieves take pride in their accomplishments, perfectionists spot every little mistake in themselves and focus on them rather than the accomplishment. I was a competitive gymnast growing up and always wanted to finish first in every competition. However, I found that finishing first wasn’t enough, what I really wanted was the perfect score. While this kept driving me to work harder, my expectation was so high that it was impossible to achieve and therefore, my accomplishments were impossible to enjoy.
3. BABY STEPS: High achievers are happy with steps toward their goal, while perfectionists are only concerned with successfully accomplishing the goal.
4. PROCESS: High achievers enjoy the process of attaining the goal. On the other hand, perfectionists can only see the goal. This all or nothing attitude will make the journey less enjoyable or impossible to enjoy for the perfectionist.
5. DISAPPOINTMENT: Perfectionists become very depressed if a goal goes unmet. High achievers are much more able to see the small wins, even if they don’t achieve the goal, and are therefore able to bounce-back from disappointment. (High achievers don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.)
6. FEAR: Because perfectionists are unable to accept anything other than success, they fear failure much more than high achievers.
7. PROCRATINATION: Often times, perfectionists are also procrastinators. Their desire to do something perfectly and their fear and anxiety over being perfect can paralyze them into not doing anything at all. Then, believe it or not, that feels like a failure and the cycle repeats. When I was launching Minerva Management Partners, I was so afraid of it not being perfect or not being complete that it delayed progress in many areas. The pressure of having the perfect logo equated to weeks of cutting out copies of the drafts and individually matching up colors to get the perfect look – which of course, held up business card and web site design. Painstakingly going through web site copy until every word is perfect keeps the web site from going live. I found that sometimes you just have to hit “publish” with the understanding that you can keep refining and editing. Kind of like life.
8. SELF-ESTEEM: High achievers, as you might guess, tend to have high self-esteem. Contrastingly, perfectionists tend to have low self-esteem due to being so self-critical.

If perfectionism can rob you of happiness and self-esteem, then it must be true that ridding yourself of this behavior trait can greatly decrease stress. So, what can we do help ourselves become a recovering perfectionist?

1. Alter self-talk: Don’t be so hard on yourself! Shifting your mindset from perfectionist to high achiever can be done. Find joy in the process and begin to accept less than perfect outcomes knowing that less than perfect does not mean failure. Keeping a gratitude journal can be really helpful with managing negative self-talk.
2. Set smaller, more realistic goals so you can enjoy the small wins. Allowing yourself to be present for each step instead of only focusing on the goal will reduce stress and make the journey more enjoyable.
3. Aim the trait outside of yourself by volunteering or helping others. Focusing our perfectionist tendencies on areas outside of ourselves transfers the spotlight from internal to external, again reducing stress and silencing the self-critic.

Just so you know, the first draft of this article was written 5/18/15 but not published until 9/16/15. It’s still not perfect. It’s not even great. But sometimes, you just have to hit “publish” and see what happens.

“Self-Care Isn’t Always Glamorous!” – Ash Ambirge

I love this statement by Ash Ambirge, Creator of The Middle Finger Project. In the day and age of the popularity of self-care as a topic, we generally think of bubble baths, massages, mani/pedi appointments, and time for meditation. We think of “me” time and things that feel indulgent and luxurious. And while all of things are important and a valid means to self-care – which by definition is what we do to take care of ourselves – not all of them are fluffy and glamorous.

Ash writes in a recent post, “But, you know, I don’t think we’ve got the right idea. I think the concept of “self-care” has been trivialized into mud baths and Bridget Jones marathons, when in reality, it’s not just a self-indulgence: It’s self-preservation. And self-preservation isn’t always glamorous. Actually, most of the time, it’s really, really uncomfortable.”

She goes on to list the things that really make a difference in self-care.

·       Doing the thing you least want to do

·       Letting go

·       Forgetting about the money

·       Finally stopping what doesn’t work for you

·       Prioritizing joy

·       Letting other people down

·       Coming through for yourself

·       Making a budget

·       Sticking to your guns

·       Giving up…sometimes

·       Being selfish

·       Acting on your curiosities

·       Being selective

·       Choosing differently…despite your past

·       Doing the things you want without regard for how it will seem, or appear, or be talked about by others

If self-care is really about self-preservation, then maybe the bubble baths and justified clothing expenditures (while deserved) aren’t really what will do the trick. Maybe, as Ash says, it’s the big, difficult, unpleasant things we must do in our lives that are actually the most beautiful and beneficial.

Thanks to Ash for challenging us to look at self-care from a different perspective. Creating a life we don’t want to run from may be the biggest form of self-care we can possible do for ourselves.

4 Tricks to Ease the “Sunday-night Blues”

I love this term, “Sunday-night blues.” How many of you know exactly what I’m talking about? It’s that sense of dread, anxiety, and fatigue that tends to show up every Sunday afternoon as you begin to think about your upcoming workweek.

I was reading an article by Martha C. White in Money Magazine where she quoted Katrina Onstad, author of The Weekend Effect: The Life-Changing Benefits of Taking Time Off and Challenging the Cult of Overwork. Onstad says, “the failure to take a break is bad for your body, mental health, family, and even career.” And the fact that we spend most of our weekends checking email, working, or thinking about the office makes taking that needed break impossible.

Luckily, Onstad and other experts say there are solutions. Here are four ways to turn your weekends into recharging opportunities.

1. Turn off your phone

This is kind of a ‘duh’ statement but you can’t fully unwind if you don’t unplug. Unless you are in a profession where lives are at stake, no one will die on the table if you don’t respond to email or phone calls on the weekend. A lot of successful people are setting this boundary and sticking to it. You cannot be productive if you are burnt out so set the expectation at work that you will respond to emails received during the weekend on Monday.

2. Go outside

Studies have shown that all people, regardless of age, gender, and social class are happier and more energized when they spend time outside. Being outside improves your mood and concentration – making it all that much easier to spend your upcoming workweek inside.

3. Hang with friends

Research has also shown that friendships are key to our well-being. Hanging out with friends not only increases your mood, it contributes to your sense of belonging, and decreases stress. This works even if you are an introvert and generally recharge by being alone. Spending even a small amount of time with friends will get you pumped to tackle Monday.

4. Do good deeds

Volunteering regularly enhances one’s well-being as well. Everyone wants to do things they feel good about. Again, it increases mood and contributes to your sense of belonging. Finding ways to volunteer over the weekend makes you feel productive, accomplished, and that you have made a valuable contribution to something bigger than yourself. All things that give you a high that you can ride into the week.

While it’s hard to consider a regular weekend as a mini-vacation, using these techniques can truly make you feel like you’ve had one. Not only will you have less dread going into the week, you may also find an increase in good ideas and creativity – which will give you another good reason to look forward to Monday.

3 Ways to “Increase” Willpower

According to the American Psychological Association, willpower is “the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.” Most people believe that their lives would be greatly enhanced if they just had more willpower. We believe that if we just had more self-control we would eat better, weigh less, exercise more, save more money, stop procrastinating, and achieve more of our goals. As a matter of fact, the American Psychological Association’s annual Stress in America survey shows that the #1 reason people cite for not achieving goals like these is due to lack of willpower.

So, achieving our goals should be easy, right? Just tap in to your willpower and make it happen. Here’s the problem with that. Willpower is a depletable resource. It’s limited and if you don’t use it efficiently, it will be impossible to rely on your willpower to accomplish everything.

Here are three ways you can use your willpower more efficiently to help you achieve those things most important to you.

1.       Incorporate rules instead of relying on willpower

One of the best ways to avoid depleting your willpower is to not use it. That sounds weird! Hear me out. If you spend all day trying to resist temptation, you will quickly deplete your willpower. However, if you replace your need for willpower with rules, then you don’t have to tap into your willpower at all. You go from having to resist to simply just having to follow the rules.

Let’s take an easy example. ICE CREAM. I love ice cream. If I have to use my willpower to resist ice cream, I’m going to fail every time. Especially if its late in the day and I’ve been using willpower all day to resist all of the other things I’m not supposed to be eating in order to lose weight. But if I replace relying on my willpower with the creation of a rule instead, my chances of succeeding increases. If I shift from “I try not to eat ice cream because I’m trying to lose weight” to “I don’t eat ice cream” then there is no grey area. I just don’t eat ice cream. And you can do this for most of the temptations in your life. Just make life rules for them.

What are some examples of other life rules? Here are a few:

·       I go to bed and get up at the same time every day – even on weekends.

·       I focus on my #1 priority in life the first thing in the morning, if only for 15 minutes.

·       I shut down all electronics by 6 PM every night to focus on my family.

·       I act polite and generous at all times to all people.

·       I spend no more than 15 minutes per day on social media.

 2.       Do the hardest things first

This is another great way to use your willpower efficiently – do your hardest things first. You have heard this before, especially in the context of procrastination. But it makes perfect sense. If you only get one tank of willpower a day, waiting until it’s almost empty to tackle your hardest things won’t work very well. You will deplete your supply before you finish.

Doing the hard things first will allow you to address the item when there are the fewest distractions and when you have the most willpower and energy.

3.       Shorten your to-do list

The third way to use your willpower more efficiently is to shorten your to-do list. By focusing on what really matters, you don’t allow non-important things to deplete the willpower you need for the important things. Because being depleted in one area can reduce willpower in other spheres, it is more effective to focus on a single goal at a time rather than attacking a long list all at once. 

Make time for what matters. Focus your life around people and experiences, not a long to-do list.

Willpower can be compared to a muscle that becomes fatigued with overuse. Studies show that repeatedly resisting temptation drains your ability to withstand future enticements. These three tips can help you use your willpower more efficiently and strategically, making it more likely to resist temptation throughout the entire day so that you can achieve your goals

 

Satisfaction and Happiness Comes from Solving Problems

A lot of us think that happiness and satisfaction come from a life full of smooth sailing. That those people who are happy are those who have not had to face many challenges or difficulties in their life. In actuality, this couldn’t be further from the truth.  

The truth is that everyone is going to feel bad sometimes in their life. It’s okay to feel bad. The key to living a healthy life is to accept this fact and stop beating yourself up over it.

The question is, if we all feel bad, then why do some people just seem to be happier than others? Happiness and satisfaction come from the solving of problems – not a life devoid of problems. If we had no problems, then happiness would actually go away.

Problems are the building blocks of happiness. The key is not to get rid of the struggles but to find the right struggles. That sounds weird, right? What do I mean by the right kind of struggles? I mean, struggles that invigorate you. Struggles that are important to you. Struggles that contribute to those around you. All of these contribute to meaning and purpose in your life.

People feel stuck when they feel they don’t have the power to change a situation. That powerlessness is what leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Here’s another truth: you always have the power to choose how you react or to create the meaning around a situation. You always have the power to find a solution to an issue. It’s not about eliminating a problem, its about finding something more worthwhile and meaningful from the problem.

What produces happiness in our life? Our ability to enjoy the struggle and the challenge involved in it.

The Easiest Way to Eliminate Overwhelm

Raise your hand if you ever feel overwhelmed by everything you have on your plate. I’m sure most of you are reading this right now with your arm straight up over your head.

It’s okay that you feel this way. And, its completely normal. So, how to we control this feeling of overwhelm?

The easiest way to eliminate overwhelm is to hone in on the things that matter so you can stop worrying about the things that don’t. Don’t focus on more – instead care about less.

Easy, right??

I know, it’s much easier in theory than it is in real life. But here’s the deal. If you are clear on what you want your life to look like and therefore clear on your priorities, then you don’t have to spend time, energy, and mental capacity on those things that don’t impact that picture.

For you entrepreneurs – if your target audience does not spend time reading blog posts, then don’t kill yourself trying to publish posts, even if everyone else does them. If you really need to spend a lot of time right now building your business, then don’t volunteer to serve on six committees within your community/your child’s school/at church. That volunteer work can wait until you are at a place in your business where it makes sense.

As a mom – if your priority right now is to attend every sporting event your child is involved in, then don’t accept an invitation to speak at a conference that will have you away from home for a week. And don’t attend evening events that conflict with games. And hire someone to clean your house/do the grocery shopping/run errands to free you up to keep your priorities your priority.

Focusing on what matters blocks out the noise that makes you feel overwhelmed. Every time I feel particularly overwhelmed, I sit down and make a list of what I have on my plate. I almost always, without exception, find several things on my list that aren’t necessary or don’t really matter. Crossing those items off my list either by delegating them or eliminating them all together immediately allows me to shift from overwhelm to doable. I mean, let’s face it. Most of our overwhelm is self-inflicted any way. Either we don’t want to ask for help or we have this image we feel we need to uphold. It’s just BS ladies. If we have the power to inflict it on ourselves, then we have the power to make it stop.

The next time you feel overwhelm, stop, breathe, and focus on what really matters. You will decrease the feeling of overwhelm, increase the feeling of control, and look like a rock star doing it.