Why Is “Feminine” An Undesirable Quality?


Every living thing is made up of both masculine and feminine energy. Each and every one of us has both sets of characteristics inside. The masculine side of energy is driven, competitive, protective, and solution oriented. The feminine side of energy is multi-tasking, intuitive, collaborative, and receptive. When the two are in balance, there is harmony and they work together to achieve great success in all aspects of life.

However, when the two are out of balance, there is a disconnect between who we are as women at our core. (NOTE: This disconnection happens to men as well.)

Ever since women began entering the work place, we’ve had to strengthen our masculine side to reach success. In the beginning, this was advantageous to paving the way for female equality. And the development of strong masculine energy is still advantageous today.

Masculine energy is action oriented, entrepreneurial, and risk taking. These are some of the dominant traits that make entrepreneurs and executive leaders successful in their ventures. Those women whom have best developed their masculine side are very successful in the business world. Our masculine driven success model is all about pushing through and doing more to get more.

On the other hand, feminine energy is intuitive, collaborative, and creative. However, these characteristics have not historically been valued in business. So as more and more of us rise to the upper echelons of business or start our own companies, we are leading with masculine energy at the sacrifice of our feminine energy. We are neglecting to develop and nurture our feminine selves causing a dangerous imbalance in our lives.

I was raised to be a strong woman. I was taught the value of an education, to work hard, and to be able to take care of myself. I’ve worked to develop my masculine energy to the point where for many years I was able to get everyone in the room to forget that I was one of the only women in the room. I changed the vocabulary I use, the tone in which I speak, and what and how I share stories to blend in with the masculine energy around me.

Over the years, I’ve lost touch with my feminine energy, which I am at my core. In my heart, I don’t seek leadership positions for power’s sake. I seek leadership positions because I want to make a difference in the world. However, I had to ignore that true purpose and live in my “ego” in order to survive and succeed in the business world.

I have news for all of you like me…For all of you proud Type-A personalities out there…Regardless of what you may have learned growing up or what you may think now, feminine is not weak or less driven. Feminine energy is strong and it takes a strong woman to be able to harness and utilize their feminine core.

When your feminine energy is underdeveloped you will never be able to access your full being. This lack of access results in a cycle of experiencing the same challenges time and time again. For instance, you may work really hard only to burn out. Or, you might discover something that will really make you happy only to sabotage it without realizing it in order to return to your less than satisfying current state.

Masculine energy keeps you from dreaming big because it’s not practical. Dreams will push you outside of your comfort zone and masculine energy prefers predictability.

According to an interview that Emerging Women did with Claire Zammit, co-creator of the Feminine Power courses, women everywhere – powerful women everywhere – are starting to acknowledge that there is a painful gap between our success as business women and our deeper potentials and need for contribution and connection. But even though we are drawn to want to experience our more feminine qualities, most of us are fearful that if we allow ourselves to experience these qualities, we will begin to lose the power we have worked so hard to gain.

The fact is, it is possible to be strong and powerful in our feminine energy. Claire teaches three ways to tap into your feminine power.

  1. Change your story

Who or what are you blaming for your perceived lack of success or happiness? Life responds to us, not our circumstance, because we show up in ways that support the stories we tell ourselves of our limitations. Take responsibility for showing up in new ways that demonstrate the deeper truth of who you are and what you want to accomplish. In other words, what will your new story be when you have tapped into your deeper potential and feel that you are contributing and connecting?

2. Follow your gut

Feminine power is very intuitional and instinctive. Masculine energy will tell you to set clear goals and to create strategies and tactics. But the feminine system may not be that clear because it works in connection with our inner knowing and intuition. We often times get stuck in an inner loop in our mind because we can’t define our ultimate purpose or clearly articulate it. Since we can’t articulate it, we tend to dismiss our deepest desires as silly and not practical. Following your instincts to solve this disconnect allows you to fully be yourself.

3. Seek, allow, and embrace support

Claire uses a great statistic when she talks about support. She says, “Geese fly 75% farther when they fly in formation vs. when they fly alone.”

Feminine energy values relationships, connection, and allowing/receiving. The key to really doing something big in your life is unlocking the support that you give and receive. From a masculine perspective, we feel weak or insufficient if we need support but the feminine understands that you can’t make your greatest contribution by yourself.

As women, we have the relationships but we feel we have to compete with each other or point out the weaknesses of others. Instead we need to create partnerships or support groups where we are willing to challenge each other, bond around shared visions, and become accountability partners for each other.

It’s time to reconnect with our feminine energy. Let me be clear in saying that I am not suggesting we build and develop our feminine energy to be bigger than our masculine energy. That would cause an imbalance the other direction. What I am suggesting is that it is time to refocus on who we are at our core and begin to accept that our feminine is just as important as our masculine in business. It is what makes us collaborative and compassionate leaders. It is what makes us capable of achieving a higher purpose.

If you feel you have a lack of support around you or if you feel you are holding “this thing” up all by yourself you are experiencing a deficit that can be brought back into balance by joining like-minded women who are ready to give and receive support to and from others. I would encourage you to learn more about Minerva Coaching Circles and how you can benefit from being a member. Please click here to learn more.


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